It's a beautiful yet dangerous sport. It takes much practice, skill & equipment to help you achieve a higher climb.
Having a lot of triggers lately & that’s how I feel. I have been climbing for so long that I get tired, I withdraw from people & things, I nap ( I try NOT to nap for even that can become a habit). I feel just Done.
Life is a lot like that. First we are born, then we learn to roll over, walk, speak, play, attend school, relationships of all kinds & personality. I mean life is just a never-ending opportunity to go higher, to climb over to the next mole hill, the next stepping stone, the next hill, the next mountain.
I picture myself with this hill or mountain in front of me. I am sitting on my butt trying to reach the next level by trying to pull myself up, only to feel all the heavy load weighing me down & leaving me in a struggle. Get up & live or sit back being afraid to live, wasting all my precious time because I am afraid to take the next step.
Yet when I look back to other mole hills, hills, mountains, I see I have a hundred percent record of success at surviving. I am learning how to maneuver around, looking for the right place for my hand, my foot, to get over the hill. I have been struggling.
However. I see if I just show up for life & trust that my Father already has my destiny laid out before me, in the times when I feel unsure of how much more I can take, I thank God for all his strength in me, never leaving me alone. He is just sitting back allowing me my freedom to choose, until I ask him for help, his love for me is like no other.
I've been dragging tail for two or three weeks now. After writing this & realizing how much I have learned in life, I am able to sit back & see this isn't really a hill or a mountain. It's the fear in my mind that keeps me all tied up.
This is an even better reason to sit down to see if my fear is real or if it is the fear in my own mind. It's usually my mind & my insecurities that cause me to freeze or cause chaos.
Time is everything, everything needs time. Slow down, free your mind so that you can think before you speak or react. Take time for you.